I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
