think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
