what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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