i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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