Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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