Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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