areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize