There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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