I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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