He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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