I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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