so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
