come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
