He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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