oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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