Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
