we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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