she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
