apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
