I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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