so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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