I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
