Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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