Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
