Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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