areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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