you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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