My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
