I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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