I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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