I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
