I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i believe in u and ur pee
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
