using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
