Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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