Sry I called you an 8
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
