Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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