her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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