Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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