:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize