the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
