I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
