She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
