Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
