But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
