Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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