If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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