Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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