Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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