So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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