I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
