I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
