i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
