Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
