I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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