Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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