i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
