I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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