Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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