I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize