I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
