thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
