Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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