It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
