i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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