"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
